The Writing Group
61The Writing Support Group
Well, now it gets personal. I joined a support group for people with life threatening illness.
Look at me, the crisis clinician who needs support. Well, I'm human too, right? Some people act as if helpers can't get sick or get in trouble. How wrong they are! I have seen my coworkers experience all the ups and downs of life on earth. Why shouldn't it touch me too?
Lol, a lot of things have touched me in my life. Maybe I will write about them. But for now, know that I was alone and looking for human contact. I joined two groups - an art group (hmmm, a hub for that? maybe) and a writing group. Here I will tell you about the writing group.
It was all women. Sigh. I guess not many men are willing to admit they need support. Or maybe just not in the writing group. There seemed to be plenty of men in the men's support group. I didn't want to go there. That was too close to home.
Dare I say what made me unhappy, angry and frustrated? Dare I share my output here? Of course. One thing they kept repeating in the group was a saying by a writing coach, "What I really mean is..." So here I will say what I really mean.
The group uses the "Amherst Method" which was "invented" by a writer who led groups in Amherst Massachusetts. I never really figured out from the group quite what the method was. I understood that we were to "center" ourselves, use prompts, never refer to the person, only to the writing and to "the narrator," and we were to say what was memorable or touched us.
Good for a support group, but I am not sure how a real writer's group would manage without good critique. Well, it *was* a support group.
Today, in fact, was the last day - these support groups ran in semesters, but unlike the university, these groups don't start up again until March. Funding issues. We didn't pay tuition. The group was funded by a local non-profit.
Long story short time. I was frustrated by the sing-song voice that seemed encouraged either by the tradition of the group or the method. The flowery images made me angry - what I have to deal with isn't flowery or sweet. It's nasty and it's going to kill me. I wanted space to be angry and it felt like there wasn't any so I settled for the ironic, sardonic and writing that had the equivalent of plot twists. I was unhappy with the feminine oriented promprs. I was unhappy because at the end of the group, I didn't feel better. I didn't feel the healing that the other members talked about. The group was ending and as it's hard for me to make connections with people, I had made none, which meant facing a winter alone and with my own anxiety.
So I will show you what I wrote. You decide if it was worth it.
Writings from the Group
- Grandma and Angels
This was written using women's inspirational cards as a prompt in my writing support group. I am curious what people think of what is produced using this method. Please comment! As usual I can't make up my... - Cancer Lessons?
The prompt for this one came from the Book: Five Lessons I Didn't Learn From Cancer and One Big Lesson I Did, by Shelly Lewis. The Prompt: "Cancer doesn't change who you are, it confirms who you are." There... - Grounding Numb Feet
This is a writing about writing, thoughts that occurred to me as and after I did the writing exercise entitled Grandma and Angels. I think it must be part of how the Amherst Method works. (there was a...
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I just found out about this thing called Private Label Rights which is supposed to be a way of writing without having to come up with one's own content. I don't know how people do that. I am addicted to hubpages as I am addicted to writing. My friend says I am compelling and this is an experiment to see if she is right. I think she might be right when she says I have something to say.
Thanks for your support!
Yes, Shashigai, I think your friend is right. So, you're addicted to HP already! I recently wrote a hub called, Hubbers Anonymous. There are many of us hubaholics and none of us really want a cure. You are in good company. I see that your hubscore has risen really well and fast, too. I think you just may be a 'natural'.
At the beginning of your piece I was wondering if you were a man who benefited from being around a lot of female energy. I have several male friends who balance themselves that way and it really works for them.
All female groups tend to bore me as they live too much on the easy surface of life and rarely want to deal with hard issues in a deep way. That said there are those times when you require something easy and light-hearted and it's a good idea.
This group didn't sound like a good fit for you at all at this point in your life. You have a lot going on internally and are a very serious person - glad to see you recognize you desire a support group as it's just plain smart. But smart people are also the most difficult to satisfy; it's easy to spot the weaknesses and inconsistencies in a theory or group practice.
Checked out this Amherst Method. Now I see why one of my relatives wanted his MFA from there - it's too easy! I can also see why you were mind-numbingly absolutely totally bored. I would be - and I'm female.
Just my own idea of the effective writing bit: the best writers are those who are fearless to experience life, admit their shortcomings honestly without going morose, and figure out how to process said experiences so others can benefit when it's their turn at the bat.
Most of all? Not waste time trying to conform to some so-called writing exercise that holds back the passion and the words along with them. This writing group looked too much like they were peddling permission to be free - but only done their way. Freedom is freedom and a cult mentality is still a cult. It's heaven when it works for you and hell when you are not a fit.
HubPages gives you the freedom for soulful expression without ego-centered editorial departments influencing the writes. Hopefully, HubPages will never decide to create an editorial dept. as it kills creative writing.
My Two Bit Advice? Give yourself permission to live out loud: angry, happy, sad, reflective, joyful. Glad to see your writes and will go check out more of them!
A practical tip? Maybe it would help your writing process by participating on HubPages making requests for other people to write hubs. Most people here are writers of one kind or another and respond well to answering these requests than conversations in the forum. I started making requests recently and am quite enthused as to the varied takes on them - good reading all! But then I'm probably more sociable than most writers as I like people warts and all.
Apologies to going long on the comment as social sites frown on "excessive celebration" from humanity. Fortunately, HP is primarily a friendly atmosphere. Here you will find plenty of support from all kinds of people. Enjoy yourself!
i don't mind the long comment, although it looks like it would make a good hub. i am not sure how to go about asking questions of others or why to do it - i am not sure how that part of hubpages work. i think this may be some aspect of social interaction that i am not getting. truth be told, it may be that i didn't enjoy the writing group more from having asperger's than from being a man. but i have been having a good time writing here, especially in the forums where things really are relaxed.
Asking questions doesn't really have to involve social interaction unless you choose to do so - if you find that uncomfortable. People are usually kind here at HP than at many social sites (like Digg and Fark which are rough and tumble).
The requests at HP are just a chance to think out loud and, in so doing, you can cause a chain reaction of someone else writing about your idea/question. The give and take energy is fun. I usually go and thank people for answering the request and try to make a comment, though it isn't required.
As why to make the requests: HubPages wants more hubs written. The way to stimulate more hubs to be written is to encourage social interaction where people bounce ideas and opinions off each other. Everyone wins. The author gets more hubs to raise her/his score. HP gets more hubs out into the search engines to raise their rankings. Plus I like to just read the requests area to see what others are thinking about or what concerns they have in life.
You don't have to participate. Take your time, find your niche and just enjoy and at your own pace! This site doesn't pressure people at all.
Shirley Anderson 3 years ago
You know, I discover something in each of your hubs that I didn't know before. I've never heard of the Amherst method. Methods may be interesting to learn but I say find your own voice and use it to the best of your ability in the way that works for you. If it's good, people will come around and read it, if it's not they won't. If you write from your heart, you'll have satisfied something deep inside yourself that longed for expression. Sometimes that's the most important thing.